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...

[His smile fades, and he sits up straighter, glancing toward her. His eyes flick over her face, taking her in at a glance to try to read her feelings, to get a sense of where she's coming from. Regret...?

In the span of a second, he takes in her posture and body language, too, filing it all away to compile a nonverbal picture along with what she's saying.]

Was it that bad?

[For now, he just lets that smile return, trying to defuse whatever tension might arise with humor.]

[ Roxy turns as read as a tomato. ] What? Fuck no! I'd kiss you everyday if you'd let me.

[ She clears her throat. ]

What I mean is... you like someone else, so that wasn't very cool of me.

[He laughs, feeling himself flushing a little himself. It's... kind of flattering, really? But it hits hard right on the crux of the issues that he'd tried explaining to Souda, and failed miserably at.]

Is that what this is about...?

[But for now, the only strategy he can put into place is to redirect, convince her that he's not unhappy and there's nothing she should be sorry for.]

I still think you're cool. Aren't you the one who said it was "just for funsies?"

Edited 2016-10-17 13:59 (UTC)

[ Well, he's got her there. It wasn't supposed to be serious, and it wasn't, not until afterward when she couldn't stop thinking about it. She turns an even brighter shade of red, but she's frowning this time, and trying to turn her face away without being too obvious that she's trying to hide. ]

For sure. One-hundred percent for funsies.

[ She doesn't sound very convinced, but then she quickly adds: ]

Are you going to tell her how you feel?

Edited 2016-10-17 14:05 (UTC)

[Oh no. Oh no. His smile starts to fade at the corners, because he knows what that lack of conviction would mean. He almost wishes he could turn off that super analytic ability of his, because this is something they'd both be better off if he didn't realize.

For now, he doesn't let on that he's keyed into what that could mean in her voice, instead just exhaling quietly and looking down at his own hands so he can't analyze her by sight.]

I don't know, [he says quietly.] It's probably not a good idea to.

[ Roxy's heart drops into her stomach.

Is this something she messed up for him? Did she fuck up again? She's pretty sure he can read her-- she's not difficult to read to begin with. His body language isn't exactly reassuring, either, and the next feel that creeps up on her is one she's quite familiar with: shame. ]

Why? If you like her, you should tell her? Why wouldn't it be a good idea?

Edited 2016-10-17 14:21 (UTC)

[For once, it's not actually something Roxy did!! It's all Hinata.]

Before I answer... can you tell me something?

[He still doesn't look at her, keeping his eyes on his hands.]

Going home... what does that mean to you?

[ Roxy shrugs. Is this. Is this a pop quiz. What if she gets the answers wrong. ]

Iunno, depends what you mean by that. This place is probs the closest thing to a real "home" I've ever had, so...

Edited 2016-10-17 14:27 (UTC)

[He just nods. That makes sense, what he knows of her clicking into place. Why she can care so strongly without the same kind of consequences that he can see in the future.]

So you wouldn't want to go back. [It's less a question than a statement, to clarify what she'd said.] If we can solve the mystery of this planet and find a way to return to the places we were before arriving here, then... you wouldn't want to leave?

[ Roxy sighs, exasperated. It took a lot of courage to ask him to come here to talk about serious shit, but she didn't think that included talking about stuff like this. ]

What does this have to do with anything? Your girl, in particular?

Edited 2016-10-17 14:34 (UTC)

I have to go back.

[That non-answer is enough for him, exhaling his own quiet sigh as he runs a hand through his hair.]

There are people counting on me. Things I have to atone for.

I don't think it would be fair to her. Because if a way opens up to go home... I would have to take it.

[ Pulling a pillow into her lap, she hugs it tight, holding onto it like her life depends on it. ]

Oh.

[ She can't fault him for that. She can't. Of course a stand-up guy like Hinata would want to go home and take care of the people he cares about most. ]

...I'm sorry, Roxy.

[Because that's an answer to her feelings too, isn't it? If he won't let himself confess to the girl he has feelings for, he won't be able to confess to anyone else, either. Even as much as he might want to.

Even as much as it hurts him to admit.]

You deserve better.

[ Roxy shakes her head furiously. ] You gotta do what you gotta do. Why are you apologzin' to me about it? And what do you mean, I "deserve better"? Pfffhaha. You're a really silly boy. This isn't about me!

[ She's such an awful liar. ]

Roxy...

[This hurts. This hurts a lot. Her attempt at laughter just hurts even more.]

It is about you. You're important to me, you know...? You deserve someone who... can commit his full attention to you. Someone who can love you without reservation, because that's the kind of person you are.

For fuck sake, H, can you not? Seriously. [ Roxy doesn't want talk about her feelings for him. Period. That's not why she asked him to meet up with her. ]

Look, I get it, and I don't blame you. You got important shit to do back home. I got important shit to do in my universe too, even if I don't wanna leave, but-- I dunno. That doesn't mean I gotta be happy with--

-- with losin' you.

[ Roxy frowns. She's lost so many people already. ]

Edited 2016-10-17 15:33 (UTC)

[He flinches, lips pursing tightly together as he brings a hand up to clutch at the knot of his tie in a half-remembered gesture to try to keep his composure. It's been a long time since he's had to do anything like that, but here he is.]

...You make it sound like I'm going to walk out the door and be gone forever. Trust me, when the time comes... if I have any choice in the matter, I won't just vanish from your life. I wouldn't want that.

[He. Can't tell if trying to hug her would make things worse, so he just kind of. Pulls his hand from his tie and offers it to her.]

I'll always be your friend.

[ Roxy ignores the hand offered to her, and shoves her face in her pillow instead. ]

Don't bullshit me. That's what leaving here means.

[He keeps his hand out another few seconds before exhaling quietly through his nose and retracting it, staring at the floor. He's messed up.]

I'm sorry.

Me too.

[ As her hands begin to shake, she grips the pillow tighter, wanting nothing more than to wrap her lips around a Vodka bottle and be done with it. ]

Hahaha, yanno, I think I liked it better when I couldn't feel anything.

Don't say that!

[His voice is suddenly very sharp as he jolts up, looking back toward her again as his stomach twists uncomfortably.]

I didn't mean to hurt you, but please don't say something like that.

[ Her eyes widen and she too jolts, startled by the sudden movement, and definitely not expecting that kind of reaction out of him. Not when she only meant what she said half-heartedly. ]

Dude, it was a joke! Sorry.

[ Not to self: don't ever joke about being a soulless husk again. That's not cool. ]

You didn't-- you didn't hurt me, you know. It would suck if you had to leave but like I said, I get it. You got shit to do. Actually... I really admire that. Your dedication, I mean.

[Yes, that definitely falls into the realm of things that are Not Cool. He exhales a ragged breath and rubs a hand over his face. He'd overreacted... another thing he hadn't thought he'd be capable of doing.]

Thanks. I just... wish there were a way I could have it both ways. Because I'm... I'm really happy, to have so many friends here. I wouldn't want to leave any of you, but...

I can't afford to be selfish.

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