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[hopefragment]

@hinatahajime

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[hopefragment]

what? i've never read a romance novel

[ryuji]

Annabelle falls in love with a devil-may-care kinda dude who's like pumped up on 10 tons of steroids at any given moment apparently girls think that shit is kinda hot or something like hey let me just sweat all over you and BAM you're gonna wanna bone but she's also kinda feisty and plays around with Marco until she drives him nuts and suddenly his "wanna screw every girl" mentality turns into this intense fixation on her and like 250 pages later they're practically sucking face before he finds out that she's actually the girl from his 4th grade class that he was madly in love with as a kid but had to move away when his parents died in a car crash to live with his seriously effed up past and somewhere along the way Annabelle also starts to fall for her tennis coach who is the typical Good Guy kinda douche who is only really pretending to be good so that he can get in her pants and just when they're about to get it on, Marco comes and rescues her and it's revealed that the tennis coach is just looking for someone to marry so that he can fulfill the terms of the will his parents left him??? i dunno some shit like that happens but now Annabelle is in love with Marco but Marco has this complex thinking that she's still feeling the Chad guy when she really just wants to take some time to herself and figure out whats best for her, and we fast forward to the future she's on vacation with her new boyfriend at some rich person's vacation club in the woods and of course Marco's there doing some construction work or some macho shit like that and they have a touching moment where it starts to rain and they're stuck in a cabin for a little while and finally decide to GET THEIR FREAK ON but it's too late Annabelle's cheated on her new bf now and decides to live with Marco, who's been building a cabin on the lake to live quietly in and they live sorta happily ever after? oh and Marco's a demon. or a vampire. I can't really be assed to remember at this point because this shit is just

So

Dumb

[hopefragment]

[Gotta be honest... Hajime's not reading that entire block of text. He gets maybe two lines in, realizes it's a synopsis of whatever romance novel Ryuji's talking about, and zones out a little. The utter lack of punctuation does him no favors, either.

Maybe he can just ignore it? No, that might prompt an even LONGER text. Hajime groans and tries to force himself to skim over it.]

i feel like the vampire/demon part should have been a more important detail. maybe put that closer to the beginning

what brings this up? did you just finish reading it or something?

[ryuji]

I read it twice to be honest and I aint to [sic] proud of it but like I guess it kinda puts some things in perspective right like this is how people are expected to act when they get donkey punched in the balls and they've got crushes on each other

[hopefragment]

[...He's so tired. Please, don't make him think about getting donkey-punched in the balls.]

for some people, maybe. i don't know, you said it was really convoluted, right? i don't think there's anything convoluted about it. either you like someone, or you don't.

i guess that wouldn't make all that interesting of a story though. too normal

[...Wait.]

do you have a crush on someone?

[ryuji]

What how the hell did you come to that

[hopefragment]

you said you read it twice and were using it as perspective for how people act

[ryuji]

wtf

[hopefragment]

you're the one who said it

[ryuji]

Holy shit man like do you have a deerstalker hanging around or something or are you just gonna be Shinatalock Holmes for halloween. Wait is this something you always kinda do in your head but bc you aint sleeped for like a buncha days that you normally keep those kinda thoughts in your head

[It's a yes. It's such an obvious fucking yes.]

[hopefragment]

don't you?? sometimes you just have to think about stuff for a second and it all falls into place. like, you know, breaking down something complicated into smaller questions and skating through them to get the answer.

[No, that's really not something everyone does.]

anyway, are you gonna tell me who it is, or do i have to guess?

[He'll never get it.]

[ryuji]

Uhhhhh

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

No?

I mean I sure as hell don't

[Fuck, fuck FUCK, this isn't the way this conversation was supposed to go, he just wanted to bemoan the ills of this stupid goddamn book to one of his besties.

And he can't lie to Hinata. Hell, he can't lie to anyone, really. It's his worst best/best worst talent.]

No, there ain't a witches' chance in hell that I'm gonna tell you anything about this new goddamn revelation you've just detectived your way into

[hopefragment]

oh

[Really? No fill-in-the-blanks puzzles?? No snowboarding to the right answers? Lame.]

cmon, i won't tell anybody. is it haru?

[No, that's HIS crush.]

[ryuji]

lmao are you sure this isn't projectin

[hopefragment]

WHAT

[ryuji]

Dude you totally were staring at the town hall

Remember

I had to steer you in the right direction

Lol

[hopefragment]

hell no!!

besides, haru's like... there's no way. she's really cute, but she wouldn't be interested in somebody like me

we were talking about YOU remember

[ryuji]

What the hell does somebody like me even mean? That shit's just made up shit that you make up in your head. Like you set the bar for yourself so high that you think you can't rise the occasion and I'm sitting here like man you need to do some effin' pullups or some shit like that bc the bar is a stupid concept

[hopefragment]

[What he means is Haru is a solid ten, while he'd be content to be called a six or seven at best.]

do you really think i have a chance? come on man, be honest.

and hang on, i thought YOU liked her cause of how you stepped in at the meeting. you know. like you were telling me to back off

[ryuji]

I don't effin' know!!! How the hell am I s'posed to figure out romance shit when I've never even kissed a guy in the first place like you think I'm here just doling out the dokis like i'm the goddamn milkman or something

And like no, I don't like her like her. I mean I love her because she's Haru and what's not to love about Haru since she's the most goddamn coolest person in the entire goddamn world, y'know? I just don't think I could like her like her like that bc of who we are as people and hell yeah if you were some sleazy creepy mother effer I'd be all up in your grill tellin' you to get away from her bc that shit's weird but I've gotten to know you and I think you two would be cute together

And holy shit what the hell am I sayin

This is nuts

Why are we doin' this to begin with

[hopefragment]

[Several things Hajime will reflect on when he's less tired, or has more evidence:
1) do milkmen distribute dokis
2) does Ryuji want to kiss guys
3) is Ryuji seriously telling him to go ahead and try to flirt with Haru????
4) for real why are milkmen the ones in charge of dokis this is the most important question]

you're the one who brought up romance stuff to start with! is it weird to talk about people we like?

[He's never gotten to actually talk about people he's had feelings for before? It was kind of nice for an instant.]

idk ryuji. you can go back to telling me more about the book if you want

[ryuji]

[Oh shit, that Freudian slip is going to come back to haunt him.]

No?!?

I mean it doesn't have to be awkward I guess this can be where our friendship is destined to go like we're pioneers out on the sea looking toward the western effin sky or some lame shit like that and if Haru is your north star man idefk go for it??? Carpe the eff outta that diem man

Or don't I'm not your goddamn mom.

Anyway, the way the author decsribed anneblle I think she's like supposed ot be self insert or something like that you're supposed to like PICTURE YOURSELF when your reading her.

[hopefragment]

idk you're the one who said don't leave here with any regrets

[God and this isn't even getting into the some kinda way he feels about Erika. Yeah, maybe it's best to stop that pioneering voyage right here for now and safely retreat back into the fictional.]

right, ok. so you get to picture yourself going through this romance with the vampire/demon guy and all her other boyfriends. but you think it's too convoluted?

[ryuji]

Yeah, i stand by that point i guess. If you're gonna live life the way you wanna live it, live it according to your own rules

And if that rules involve loving a vampire demon shit man you just gotta do it, y'know what I mean?

Yeah

It's totally convoluted but that's the beauty of it? Like isn't that how irl shit kinda goes? Nothing ever really makes sense until the last moment when it all kinda makes sense and you're just embarrassed bc shit if only you knew how to actually talk to people and tell them whassup then you'd be fine

[hopefragment]

idk, that seems wrong to me. you never struck me as the kind of person who has trouble talking to anyone. you're totally genuine, 100% of the time. or, well, 95% of the time. you know what the other 5% is, and even then you have trouble not talking about it

[Phantom... Thief....]

so why would that change for something like this? pretty sure it doesn't have to be complicated. just nobody would read a five-page book with no conflict lol