don't you?? sometimes you just have to think about stuff for a second and it all falls into place. like, you know, breaking down something complicated into smaller questions and skating through them to get the answer.
[No, that's really not something everyone does.]
anyway, are you gonna tell me who it is, or do i have to guess?
[Fuck, fuck FUCK, this isn't the way this conversation was supposed to go, he just wanted to bemoan the ills of this stupid goddamn book to one of his besties.
And he can't lie to Hinata. Hell, he can't lie to anyone, really. It's his worst best/best worst talent.]
No, there ain't a witches' chance in hell that I'm gonna tell you anything about this new goddamn revelation you've just detectived your way into
What the hell does somebody like me even mean? That shit's just made up shit that you make up in your head. Like you set the bar for yourself so high that you think you can't rise the occasion and I'm sitting here like man you need to do some effin' pullups or some shit like that bc the bar is a stupid concept
I don't effin' know!!! How the hell am I s'posed to figure out romance shit when I've never even kissed a guy in the first place like you think I'm here just doling out the dokis like i'm the goddamn milkman or something
And like no, I don't like her like her. I mean I love her because she's Haru and what's not to love about Haru since she's the most goddamn coolest person in the entire goddamn world, y'know? I just don't think I could like her like her like that bc of who we are as people and hell yeah if you were some sleazy creepy mother effer I'd be all up in your grill tellin' you to get away from her bc that shit's weird but I've gotten to know you and I think you two would be cute together
[Several things Hajime will reflect on when he's less tired, or has more evidence: 1) do milkmen distribute dokis 2) does Ryuji want to kiss guys 3) is Ryuji seriously telling him to go ahead and try to flirt with Haru???? 4) for real why are milkmen the ones in charge of dokis this is the most important question]
you're the one who brought up romance stuff to start with! is it weird to talk about people we like?
[He's never gotten to actually talk about people he's had feelings for before? It was kind of nice for an instant.]
idk ryuji. you can go back to telling me more about the book if you want
[Oh shit, that Freudian slip is going to come back to haunt him.]
No?!?
I mean it doesn't have to be awkward I guess this can be where our friendship is destined to go like we're pioneers out on the sea looking toward the western effin sky or some lame shit like that and if Haru is your north star man idefk go for it??? Carpe the eff outta that diem man
Or don't I'm not your goddamn mom.
Anyway, the way the author decsribed anneblle I think she's like supposed ot be self insert or something like that you're supposed to like PICTURE YOURSELF when your reading her.
idk you're the one who said don't leave here with any regrets
[God and this isn't even getting into the some kinda way he feels about Erika. Yeah, maybe it's best to stop that pioneering voyage right here for now and safely retreat back into the fictional.]
right, ok. so you get to picture yourself going through this romance with the vampire/demon guy and all her other boyfriends. but you think it's too convoluted?
Yeah, i stand by that point i guess. If you're gonna live life the way you wanna live it, live it according to your own rules
And if that rules involve loving a vampire demon shit man you just gotta do it, y'know what I mean?
Yeah
It's totally convoluted but that's the beauty of it? Like isn't that how irl shit kinda goes? Nothing ever really makes sense until the last moment when it all kinda makes sense and you're just embarrassed bc shit if only you knew how to actually talk to people and tell them whassup then you'd be fine
idk, that seems wrong to me. you never struck me as the kind of person who has trouble talking to anyone. you're totally genuine, 100% of the time. or, well, 95% of the time. you know what the other 5% is, and even then you have trouble not talking about it
[Phantom... Thief....]
so why would that change for something like this? pretty sure it doesn't have to be complicated. just nobody would read a five-page book with no conflict lol
[God, that is... such a nice thing to say about him. It touches him. So obviously, he's going to steer this car into another ditch so that he doesn't have to let his emotions run buck-fucking-wild. Thanks, food. He's not tearing up, his eyes are sweating. Don't be so goddamn rude.]
Damn straight
Speak for yourself though I would totally read a five page book and call it a day i'd be like Ryuji has read TWO BOOKS since comin' here and that's a travesty. Tragedy? What the hell is the difference between those two words they're like basically the same
Anyway IDK it seems like IRL is more than just a 5 page synopsis you can't just like get everything down in a few pages of what you're goin' through when it hits you and you're like shit, guess I caught the feels time to go see the doctor
[You don't do anything halfway, huh...? Wait, tell me he's not calling me "The Love Doctor."]
maybe we've discovered your new career then. ryuji sakamoto, teen romance novel author, master of short stories
you're right though, irl isn't fiction. you're not bound by page count or whatever. you get to make your own choices how your story's going to go. you're the protag, remember? so however long or short you decide to make the lead-up...
what's that word we learned in lit class? idk, whatever the upward slope on the plot graph is
you get to decide how long you want to spend on something like that.
[No way. He gives his full ass into everything he does. Half assed just doesn't cut it.]
You dont even know me 'n Ren practically storyboarded an entire shounen anime a few weeks back and that shit is so golden that it's gonna hurt on the way out.
[Fucking ew?]
I dunno but I remember what the other end is kinda like its a french word or something? Day new mount? Shit if I know, stuff's never gonna be useful ever anyway
idk i wasn't great at lit. but that's not the point i'm trying to make here, you know?
whoever it is, she probably doesn't know how lucky she is you like her
[...Wait, hang on. There's the shambles of a minigame at work here, hinting that he's fallen off the track again. Hang on, hang on, he's scrolling back up again.
[SORRY DUDE HE'S JUST LIVING HIS PROTAG LIFE, CONNECTING DOTS.
But also Ryuji isn't denying it, which is... more evidence. Hajime flops back on his bed, just looking at the message for a long moment. It feels like that kind of revelation should change something. But when they're being aurally assaulted by 99 Luftballons for the ???th time, or when they're literally on a space station in space, it feels like this isn't a huge revelation.
There's a beat, where he wonders is it me? before dismissing that as stupid. Of course Ryuji wouldn't be interested in somebody like him. Besides, he's not into guys anyway. There's no reason to feel disappointed, so...
Those are thoughts to be had to a different soundtrack. Instead, he just scrolls back a little further to reread what Ryuji had said earlier. Something something a bar you set for yourself.]
bullshit, don't be stupid. is this your way of asking for a list of all your good qualities? how about i type you up a business card, too. that way you can just pass it off like some kind of salaryman
[Ninety nine decisions treat Ninety nine ministers meet To worry, worry, super scurry Call the troops out in a hurry This is what we've waited for This is it boys, this is war.]
Huh? Nah, I'm not fishing for compliments. I've been rejected a bunch of times already so I'm just kinda used to the idea of bein' turned down? Wow that sounds really effin' lame but I'm just trying to be honest here or something
Also if you make me business cards they're goin straight out the goddamn airlock
too late i'm already drafting up the business card. i'm gonna post it to the whole network. "have you seen ryuji sakamoto? here's a list of good things about him"
jk you know i wouldn't do that. seriously, though... idk. maybe those other people just didn't get the chance to know you well enough to see just how good of a friend you really are.
i mean i've never really tried confessing to anybody, so i've never really been rejected, but like... we're in space. we're orbiting an unknown planet, in a whole different universe from where we're from, surrounded by people who haven't ever been to the places we've gone to every day. people might surprise you with what they think about you
[Oh... man, this is kind of corny, and he really wasn't looking for validation or anything, just that. Whatever's left of his brain to mouth filter, as bad as it already was, was completely and utterly shattered and there's nothing him from just rambling on incessantly. Hence a novel about a romance novel.]
I think if you did that I'd throw myself out the airlock and probably take you with me so it's a good thing that like you're not going through with it. I mean, for both our sakes yeah?
I never really had a ton of friends, so the ones I make I'm gonna make sure that they know they're loved every single damn chance I can. Despite the text I just sent lol I mean I'm not really going to junk us outta an airlock
[He's laughing now, kind of helplessly. There's not even anything funny, just-- it's a relief to be able to joke around like this.]
i mean it's probably quieter out there in space than it is in here. might not be a bad idea you've got there. you really ARE thinking about what's best for us, huh?
hey, can i borrow that book about the demon/vampire guy
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[No, that's really not something everyone does.]
anyway, are you gonna tell me who it is, or do i have to guess?
[He'll never get it.]
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Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
No?
I mean I sure as hell don't
[Fuck, fuck FUCK, this isn't the way this conversation was supposed to go, he just wanted to bemoan the ills of this stupid goddamn book to one of his besties.
And he can't lie to Hinata. Hell, he can't lie to anyone, really. It's his worst best/best worst talent.]
No, there ain't a witches' chance in hell that I'm gonna tell you anything about this new goddamn revelation you've just detectived your way into
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[Really? No fill-in-the-blanks puzzles?? No snowboarding to the right answers? Lame.]
cmon, i won't tell anybody. is it haru?
[No, that's HIS crush.]
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Remember
I had to steer you in the right direction
Lol
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besides, haru's like... there's no way. she's really cute, but she wouldn't be interested in somebody like me
we were talking about YOU remember
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do you really think i have a chance? come on man, be honest.
and hang on, i thought YOU liked her cause of how you stepped in at the meeting. you know. like you were telling me to back off
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And like no, I don't like her like her. I mean I love her because she's Haru and what's not to love about Haru since she's the most goddamn coolest person in the entire goddamn world, y'know? I just don't think I could like her like her like that bc of who we are as people and hell yeah if you were some sleazy creepy mother effer I'd be all up in your grill tellin' you to get away from her bc that shit's weird but I've gotten to know you and I think you two would be cute together
And holy shit what the hell am I sayin
This is nuts
Why are we doin' this to begin with
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1) do milkmen distribute dokis
2) does Ryuji want to kiss guys
3) is Ryuji seriously telling him to go ahead and try to flirt with Haru????
4) for real why are milkmen the ones in charge of dokis this is the most important question]
you're the one who brought up romance stuff to start with! is it weird to talk about people we like?
[He's never gotten to actually talk about people he's had feelings for before? It was kind of nice for an instant.]
idk ryuji. you can go back to telling me more about the book if you want
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No?!?
I mean it doesn't have to be awkward I guess this can be where our friendship is destined to go like we're pioneers out on the sea looking toward the western effin sky or some lame shit like that and if Haru is your north star man idefk go for it??? Carpe the eff outta that diem man
Or don't I'm not your goddamn mom.
Anyway, the way the author decsribed anneblle I think she's like supposed ot be self insert or something like that you're supposed to like PICTURE YOURSELF when your reading her.
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[God and this isn't even getting into the some kinda way he feels about Erika. Yeah, maybe it's best to stop that pioneering voyage right here for now and safely retreat back into the fictional.]
right, ok. so you get to picture yourself going through this romance with the vampire/demon guy and all her other boyfriends. but you think it's too convoluted?
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And if that rules involve loving a vampire demon shit man you just gotta do it, y'know what I mean?
Yeah
It's totally convoluted but that's the beauty of it? Like isn't that how irl shit kinda goes? Nothing ever really makes sense until the last moment when it all kinda makes sense and you're just embarrassed bc shit if only you knew how to actually talk to people and tell them whassup then you'd be fine
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[Phantom... Thief....]
so why would that change for something like this? pretty sure it doesn't have to be complicated. just nobody would read a five-page book with no conflict lol
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Damn straight
Speak for yourself though I would totally read a five page book and call it a day i'd be like Ryuji has read TWO BOOKS since comin' here and that's a travesty. Tragedy? What the hell is the difference between those two words they're like basically the same
Anyway IDK it seems like IRL is more than just a 5 page synopsis you can't just like get everything down in a few pages of what you're goin' through when it hits you and you're like shit, guess I caught the feels time to go see the doctor
The love doctor
The love doctor man
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maybe we've discovered your new career then. ryuji sakamoto, teen romance novel author, master of short stories
you're right though, irl isn't fiction. you're not bound by page count or whatever. you get to make your own choices how your story's going to go. you're the protag, remember? so however long or short you decide to make the lead-up...
what's that word we learned in lit class? idk, whatever the upward slope on the plot graph is
you get to decide how long you want to spend on something like that.
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You dont even know me 'n Ren practically storyboarded an entire shounen anime a few weeks back and that shit is so golden that it's gonna hurt on the way out.
[Fucking ew?]
I dunno but I remember what the other end is kinda like its a french word or something? Day new mount? Shit if I know, stuff's never gonna be useful ever anyway
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idk i wasn't great at lit. but that's not the point i'm trying to make here, you know?
whoever it is, she probably doesn't know how lucky she is you like her
[...Wait, hang on. There's the shambles of a minigame at work here, hinting that he's fallen off the track again. Hang on, hang on, he's scrolling back up again.
...Kissed a guy?]
wait, is it a guy you like?
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What do you mean lucky
I'm like 1000% sure no one wants to go out with me
[ALSO WTF HAJIME.]
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But also Ryuji isn't denying it, which is... more evidence. Hajime flops back on his bed, just looking at the message for a long moment. It feels like that kind of revelation should change something. But when they're being aurally assaulted by 99 Luftballons for the ???th time, or when they're literally on a space station in space, it feels like this isn't a huge revelation.
There's a beat, where he wonders is it me? before dismissing that as stupid. Of course Ryuji wouldn't be interested in somebody like him. Besides, he's not into guys anyway. There's no reason to feel disappointed, so...
Those are thoughts to be had to a different soundtrack. Instead, he just scrolls back a little further to reread what Ryuji had said earlier. Something something a bar you set for yourself.]
bullshit, don't be stupid. is this your way of asking for a list of all your good qualities? how about i type you up a business card, too. that way you can just pass it off like some kind of salaryman
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Ninety nine ministers meet
To worry, worry, super scurry
Call the troops out in a hurry
This is what we've waited for
This is it boys, this is war.]
Huh? Nah, I'm not fishing for compliments. I've been rejected a bunch of times already so I'm just kinda used to the idea of bein' turned down? Wow that sounds really effin' lame but I'm just trying to be honest here or something
Also if you make me business cards they're goin straight out the goddamn airlock
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jk you know i wouldn't do that. seriously, though... idk. maybe those other people just didn't get the chance to know you well enough to see just how good of a friend you really are.
i mean i've never really tried confessing to anybody, so i've never really been rejected, but like... we're in space. we're orbiting an unknown planet, in a whole different universe from where we're from, surrounded by people who haven't ever been to the places we've gone to every day. people might surprise you with what they think about you
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I think if you did that I'd throw myself out the airlock and probably take you with me so it's a good thing that like you're not going through with it. I mean, for both our sakes yeah?
I never really had a ton of friends, so the ones I make I'm gonna make sure that they know they're loved every single damn chance I can. Despite the text I just sent lol I mean I'm not really going to junk us outta an airlock
Or am I
;)
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i mean it's probably quieter out there in space than it is in here. might not be a bad idea you've got there. you really ARE thinking about what's best for us, huh?
hey, can i borrow that book about the demon/vampire guy
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