hopefragment | Dangan Mingle!

[There... he goes... The flat stare fades into something more disbelieving, then he just sighs and puts his head in his hands, propping his elbows on his knees. Getting a lecture from Komaeda on whether or not he'd taken the right approach for a confession isn't something he'd ever expected to sit through? Not to mention listening to him describing Hajime's hope is slightly concerning.

Then again, whenever Komaeda talks about hope, is there any instance where it isn't at least slightly concerning...?]

You're getting ahead of yourself again. She already told me she needs time to think about it, and I'm not going to pressure her about it. And neither are you.

[He picks his head up and tilts his head, fixing him with another firm stare. Not that he genuinely expects Komaeda to do anything, but... still... it has to be said... And he can't help but scold him a little gently:]

Besides, this isn't being kept in the loop. This is called being nosy and prying, Komaeda. How or where I decide to confess to someone really isn't the kind of topic for open discussion.

Perhaps, but it would have been nice to know you are interested in the girl living in the room, the room I live in as well. It's rude, especially if you confessed. Especially if you were planning on moving.

Anyway, a confession is a selfish act anyway, the other person doesn't actually matter. It's just the bursting point of one's own internal feelings. Expressing them so they don't eat you up from the inside.

Doing it in such a lackluster way... do you even like her enough? Perhaps she's too good for you? If it were me I would at least wait for a meaningful connection, and a moment, and then tell them my deep felt feelings.

"To pay attention to trash like me... it means a lot. And though someone like me could never ask for anything in return, I would still like you to know that I will always, and truly, care about you from the bottom of my heart, that I love you."

Oh, but that word is too strong for you isn't it? "Like you" then.

I think I could probably make a better confession than you to her. I could probably make a better confession to someone I didn't even like.

I wasn't planning on moving. I didn't think it would come to that.

[As for the rest, Hinata's expression morphs back into incredulous disbelief, then a hint of annoyance.]

What happened to "this isn't about me, Hinata-kun"? [he points out, literally pointing to the other boy with a frown.] I don't think something like this is a competition, you know.

[He raises his hands up in defeat.]

Of course not. I'm not someone who can compete with anyone anyway.

Especially you.

[But really, there could have been the perfect set up. It was so dissapointing.</i.] But, in it's way this is also comforting, in its averageness.

Only you could take something genuine and make it seem like the wrong thing to do.

[He sighs and drops his head into his hands, grinding the heels of his palms against his eyelids. He doesn't want to think too hard about what Komaeda's telegraphing with his words, what he's repeating from the last time they spoke privately on the island. It's so much easier to just pretend that it's just an example, not a personal story.

Because he honestly doesn't know how to feel about it if he does let himself think too hard about it.]

Whatever. I don't think anything will come of it, anyway.

Why is that? Shouldn't you at least try and be positive?

[Don't think too deeply about the things he does and says, doesn't he do a lot of things just to get reactions? Just remember that....]

Until you get an answer anything is possible.

Yeah, maybe.

[He doesn't sound entirely convinced, though.]

If it were me, though... I don't think I'd need time to think about it. It makes it too easy to second-guess myself and plan out everything else I could have done instead.

[There's also a gentle rebuke in his words. He didn't appreciate being all but scolded for the choice he made.]

Edited 2016-11-29 00:44 (UTC)

[Maybe he felt a little bad about going a bit too far, just a little.]

Ichinose san strikes me as the sort of person that probably doesn't think about those sorts of things. What would you do if a friend, you never considered one way or the other about, outside of the fact you are friends, said they liked you? And wrote it as a note.

[He pauses a moment, there was something Souda told him once....]

It's like "sending a text to break up with someone" though in this case to ask them out. Souda kun would be disappointed I think.

It's not like sending a text to break up with someone at all!

[Dude?? No??? That's wrong!]

People used to leave notes like that in shoe lockers all the time, didn't they...?

[He asks, because he kind of remembers that from manga? It never happened to him, and he hadn't cared enough about the unambitious people he went to school with at the time to really keep track of it.]

I thought giving her something written would give her the time she needs to think about it.

I'm pretty sure in stories those notes are things like "Please meet me on the roof after school" or something so they can have a heartfelt confession.

[At least that's what happened in the manga and books he read. He didn't remember anyone from any of his schools actually getting notes though.... Maybe obligation chocolate on valentine's day?]

Wouldn't it also be easy to misunderstand? Don't you already like her because she's your friend? I like her as well, she's incredibly likable after all.

Well, yeah, but... like I said, I didn't want word of it getting around the base. Which means either telling her here, or breaking into Karkat's room. Or asking Roxy to make an observatory private temporarily, and that... wouldn't be right...

[He winces. There's clearly something he's not telling Komaeda about why it wouldn't be right to ask something like that of Roxy.]

And if it went poorly and -- while I don't think this actually was going to happen -- she didn't want to be around me, it'd make any trip by sub to an outlying island awkward and uncomfortable.

Why would it be wrong to ask to make an observatory private? Though I'm not really sure why you worry so much about where Ursula can hear you or not. Even if she does tell someone is that such a bad thing?

[What is privacy? Why did it matter?]

I feel like you're just too self conscious. People with larger hurdles to overcome can manage.

[He can't help but shake his head a little.]

What will you do if she says no?

Because stuff like this isn't supposed to be dinnertime conversation for people who aren't directly involved in it. What's wrong with privacy?

[He was just so tired of being constantly watched, even before he knew that the Jabberwock Island they'd all spent time on was a virtual monitoring program. Let him rest??

He deliberately ignores the question about Roxy, though.]

If she says no... I'll accept it, of course. I don't want to try to influence her or try to force her to change her mind. It's her decision to make.

[He shrugs one shoulder, sighing quietly through his nose.]

You know, I doubt you could do anything to make her do anything she didn't want.

[He wrapped his arms around himself and looked down a bit sullenly. It was a bit frustrating. He could not win against her in that regard, and he was used to getting what he wanted out of situations generally....]

And there's nothing wrong with privacy, but, isn't it a bit paranoid to assume every little thing you do will be relayed to someone else?

I wish I could believe that.

[It's more of a mumble to himself than to Komaeda, and he shifts his hands, gazing down at the floor between his knees and resisting the urge to rub his eyes again. It still scares him, the things he knows he's capable of.]

And yeah, maybe it is paranoid, but... I just didn't want her to get involved in stupid rumors, like when URSULA told me some stuff about other people she really shouldn't have. Especially when it's my stupid feelings that would be causing it.

You know there's going to be rumors no matter what considering the amount of people here and the size of the base.

[And Komaeda having a loose tongue when it came to things people usually keep to themselves.]

I read once that gossip is an ingrained human trait, and that we supposedly thrive on it.

[Komaeda...]

I don't think it's too much to ask for you to keep this to yourself.

Edited 2016-11-29 01:44 (UTC)

I'll keep note of that, though I don't know why I would bother to tell anyone.

[Why would he tell people about shootings and killing games either, but somehow all of those things 'came up in conversation' somehow.]

I mostly talk to you anyway.

[Though, wait, wasn't he morally obligated to tell Kanaya things like this now? He wasn't sure. That entire thing still confused him.]

And Kanaya san. I think I'm suppose to confide things in her or something.

This place really is quite interesting! I never thought I would meet so many people.

...Komaeda, I'm asking you as a friend not to spread this around. Please.

[What has he gotten himself into... he's given Komaeda such blackmail material?? Was this the other boy's plan all along.]

[It was a lucky unexpected bonus?]

I won't, you can trust me in that, Hinata kun. I'm not going to do anything to purposefully hurt you, and I will always be on your side.

[Of course... luck... He can't help but lift his head to give the other boy a hard stare before nodding, accepting him at his word. He really doesn't have much of a choice, after all.]

...Thanks. So... anything else?

[What more can he be interrogated for.]

I think I feel satisfied for now. Unless you need anything from me? I'm willing to trade fairly. Though, there's nothing at all about me that anyone would want to know. It's not like I do anything interesting or have any sort of complicated relationships with others.

[Though wasn't any relationship of any kind he had complicated by the fact it was... him?]

[How did they get from their classmates' disappearances to this...

Hinata flops back on the bed and closes his eyes, shaking his head.]

I'm not going to pry into that kind of stuff. "Room rules" or not.

[A beat.]

We're not... actually still going to follow those stupid rules of his, are we?

I don't really care about them, so you can do what you want. But I felt I shouldn't be selfish.

No. Like I said, I'm not going to pry.

[Especially not when he has a sinking feeling he doesn't really want to hear Komaeda admit who he likes. Also it's just none of his business.]

If there's anything you want to talk to me about though... you know you always can.

Dangan Mingle!

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