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[He does pause for a moment. Because Hinata isn't a coward, but Dirk feels like he's someone who should be protected.]

Are you sure?

Well, yeah. Why wouldn't I be?

[Crap, veggies... he pushes past Dirk to grab those, wavering a little as he tries to figure out what to do with them. Cook them, right...? There's no steamer, though, so... just boiling them? He guesses??

He picks up a piece of carrot and holds it out to him, first, though. Just in case he somehow fucks it up, he wants Dirk to at least have eaten a little vegetables along with the oranges.]

[Oh. Carrot. Well, he accepts it. (It is orange.)]

Have you done any training in self-defence and survival?

[He crunches down on a carrot.]

...These are cool.

[Add carrots to the pile.]

...

[Oh. That's what Dirk meant. It's easy for Hajime to get caught up in the process of wanting to solve the mystery that he can forget that here, he could be killed by something without a motive, without malice or intent. There'd be no trial.

He finishes covering the vegetables with water and setting them on the stove before answering,] Probably... not enough to be of any help. You're right, sorry.

Okay. Do you want to train in it?

[With no shades, Dirk isn't really much easier a read. His face just isn't expressive, it never had a reason to be, but his eyes are focused on Hinata now and there is no sign of unhappiness. It's an honest offer.]

I'm better at water survival than land. Jake has been teaching me how to survive with jungles. Me and Dave do swords, Jake and Roxy do guns. All of us know a certain amount of unarmed combat, but Rox is best of us at fists. There are definitely other combatants on base if you want self-defence training in something none of us know.

I...

[he closes his eyes, exhales quietly, and runs a hand through his hair, mentally trying to tell himself to focus. He glances back to Dirk as if to try to tell if the other teen is making fun of him, but of course he can't do that. All he can do is believe that Dirk wouldn't do that to him.]

Jake's been teaching me to shoot. When we first met, he gave me a pistol. I... don't really like carrying it around, though. I keep it in my locker most of the time.

Self-defense sounds fine, but... I wouldn't even know where to start. I don't think I could even use a gun if we were attacked by monsters. Especially if you're using a sword...? I'd be afraid of hitting you.

[He flips the fish over, shifting the pan with maybe a little more force than necessary, frustrated with himself.]

You start by learning.

[Hinata seems frustrated, and Dirk wonders if he pushes at Hinata too much. Maybe he pushes at everyone too much. A frown touches his expression, and he looks away over to the stove counter.]

Sorry. I was just thinking that it'd help if you wanted to explore with us. I've gotten the impression you'd rather be able to take care of yourself than be protected all the time, but I've been pretty off my game in reading people lately.

...No, you're right. I don't want to just be protected.

[He glances back in time to catch that frown, still almost surprised to see Dirk without his shades even though he's the one who indirectly asked him to take them off.]

Sorry. I think... I just keep trying to find something I'm naturally good at, even though I know I won't. I do want to keep learning.

[It's just frustrating for him, to know that almost everyone else on this base has something they're good at, something they can apply. Most of them have spent years learning it, even if they weren't naturally gifted with talent; he doesn't want to spend years on this planet. He wants to go home.

But he didn't drag Dirk out of the lab to talk about his own problems. His gaze flicks over the other boy's face one more time before he goes back to cooking.]

What do you mean, off your game? I can't picture you being off about anything.

I've mentioned this before, but I'll say it again. You really need to reconsider the approach you take to the concept of talent and skill.

[And there he goes—pushing again. He realizes it the second he does it. Why the fuck does he keep making the same mistake over and over? He remembers what Dave said, that he can't let alone a weakness in himself or in others. But it isn't like he's trying to make Hinata stronger. It just frustrates him seeing Hinata tear himself apart over something like this.

He really needs to get a handle on his entire existence. SHSL Miracle that Hinata is still sticking around.]

Trust me. I'm off far more frequently than is any kind of acceptable.

...

[He just sighs quietly through his nose, just letting the crackling pop of cooking fish fill the silence between them. Maybe Dirk's right; it's a thought he'd had several times already. But people can't change that easily, and it's just easier to think what he'd always thought.

But he pushes that away for now, glances back to Dirk again. "Acceptable...?"]

I... think I'm missing something. Reading people isn't something you have to be right about all the time, is it? That's why we talk to each other.

[To fix first impressions, to learn more about people instead of basing opinions solely on one's own thoughts.]

That's the theory.

[It's not a helpful reply and he knows it. He isn't trying to be difficult, and maybe that's visible in the way his eyes focus on the floor, in the pressing line of his mouth. He can't figure out how to express it. Is he even allowed to? Dave was so worried that Jake had even a sense of what was going on. He definitely has never told Karkat jack shit. Even if Dirk could find a way to speak, he shouldn't.

Even so, he doesn't want to leave Hinata like that. He tries, but he doesn't think he can do well.]

Unfortunately, that assumes too many ideal conditions about interlocutors. Truthfulness, a willingness to share, the self-knowledge required to express accuracy. Not all of those can be consistently present. It's why you're trying to read me right now: the conversation isn't in its ideal form. Right?

[There he is, breaking things down again. Hajime can recognize that, at least. It's what they all did during trials to try to form a more complete picture, to dismiss possibilities until only one remained. Individually, none of those statements are incorrect. It's when it's put all together that Hajime can't help but feel like there's something that's out of place at the most basic level.]

...You're right. [Again. As usual. Is that why Dirk's so worried about reading people incorrectly...? He's so used to being right that when he's wrong, he doesn't know what to do?

That doesn't seem like the right answer, so Hajime moves back to resume cooking again, checking the rice, making sure the fish isn't burning.]

But if we're looking for the conversation to be in it's "ideal form"... I pulled you out of the lab because you've released more projects in way too short of an amount of time to be healthy. You've eaten nothing but oranges for-- what, fifteen hours? Maybe I'm wrong, but... what I'm reading from the situation is that something's bothering you. Something you're trying to avoid by working yourself to a point beyond what's healthy.

Am I wrong?

[Dirk doesn't look up from the floor. He hears the searing of the fish, the shuffle of lids and pots. Noises he never would have heard on his own, all those years ago.]

I'd argue that I'm not trying to avoid anything. It's nothing less than understanding that there's a point at which making an effort is counterproductive, and I'm at it. So I'm doing other things.

If that's your argument, I'd point out the contradiction between not making an effort, and not taking care of yourself aren't the same things.

[He checks the rice, turns the heat off on it. Turns down the heat on the fish so it doesn't burn, turns down the heat on the veggies so they don't boil over, so he can turn his full attention on the other boy. This isn't Make Your Argument, this isn't a Panic Time Attack. He doesn't have to break Dirk's argument apart and point out exactly where he's wrong until the other has no objections left.

He doesn't want to do that. Instead, he reaches out as if he might put a hand on Dirk's shoulder, thinks better of it, and instead asks quietly,]

Do... you want a hug?

[It's what Dirk had offered him before, but he'd had too much pride then to accept.]

[He follows Hinata's movements by sound rather than sight, knowing what he's doing, knowing when he's close. He notices the moving hand, too, but it doesn't prepare him for the question. His head raises, eyes widened before they fall focused again.

It's confusion. How does he respond to something like that?]

Do you want to?

[Dave doesn't want to be near him. Jake is trying his best but it's hard not to see his limits. Roxy loves him but the old guilt is coming back to him. Why would anyone want to be near Dirk? Why would anyone want to comfort him? How could anyone tolerate him when Dirk can't even tolerate himself?]

I don't want to make you uncomfortable.

[Dirk lived sixteen years without real human contact. He can manage a couple hours if Hinata really doesn't want to do this. Which would be fair.]

[He can see that confusion in the way his eyes widen, that brief glance before Dirk's eyes return to the floor. And it hurts to look at, in a way that Hajime can't exactly explain to himself or put into concrete terms, an empathetic ache in his chest. So he doesn't hesitate when he answers,]

Yeah, I do. [Maybe if he says it, it'll help Dirk understand how sincere he's being. He wouldn't have offered if it weren't something he wanted to do, after all.] I don't think you will.

[Dirk's his own person, he could do something to make Hajime uncomfortable if he really wanted to? But unintentionally? He doubts it. So he steps in to close the distance, wrapping his arms around the other boy in a loose, easily-escapable hug.]

[Dirk doesn't respond at first, not anything more than a flicker of tension. He is trying to make his brain shut up. This is stupid, because Hinata doesn't need to be dealing with this crap, because Dirk created this situation and he needs to care care of it. How badly is he fucking up if he's dragging a total outsider into this?

Roxy loves him. Jake spends time with him because he wants to take care of him. Hinata isn't an outsider, because Hinata is a friend.

Very carefully, half-uncertain of what he's doing, he returns the embrace.]

[When Dirk hugs him back, Hajime exhales a quiet, relieved breath, tightening his grip into a proper hug. He's... honestly not given that many hugs in his life, but it's not to the point where it's unnatural. More that he just wants to make sure Dirk can pull back if he changes his mind, if he doesn't want to do this.]

I don't know what's bothering you, Dirk, [he murmurs, closing his eyes and tightening his embrace just a little more.] And you don't... have to tell me if you don't want to. Just... don't shut out the people who care about you. Okay?

[It's what he's always done. Can't talk to Roxy, it's too complicated. Jane's a conflict of interest, Jake's the problem. Don't want to burden any of them. AR can't be trusted. Cal was the only one, all those years, the only one he could tell anything, the only one he could share everything with. The only person he never shut out.

His eyes shut, and he doesn't pull away.]

I promise I'm working on it. It's near the top of the list of things to stop failing at.

Okay.

[That's all he can ask for, he's coming to realize. He tilts his head carefully, letting the side of it bump against Dirk's in a small, slightly silly way to catch his attention.]

If there's anything you need... I'm here for you. No matter what.

[Even if he doesn't have a talent. Even if he can't fight, or write programs, or build robots. Even if there's a laundry list of things he can't do, he still wants to become someone that people can rely on.

But right now, all he can do is stand here, keeping Dirk in his embrace until the other boy pulls away, or the fish starts to burn. Whichever comes first.]

[It is so hard to rely on anyone else. Failing is unacceptable. Fucking up is always a disaster. He has to do it all on his own, he has to be better, he can't depend on anyone else. He's alone.

He is trying so hard to remember he isn't the last man alive anymore.]

It will be hard to accept that if you won't remember it goes both ways.

[It's true. He can't stand relying on someone who won't rely on him. It feels too wrong after all of these years of standing on his own.]

...I won't forget.

[When he's ready to talk about the island, Dirk will be the first one he'll try to turn to. He's already made that decision, it's just... following through with it. It's frightening, to talk about the things that happened to him, and to Kazuichi. And if any of their classmates show up... he doesn't want anyone to be suspicious of them. They've had enough of that life, they really have.

But he just sighs quietly and keeps the side of his head pressed gently against Dirk's, still holding him in a warm embrace. Movies have told him that it should be feeling awkward, and maybe Dirk is, but for Hajime...? He's genuinely comfortable like this, closing his eyes and exhaling another calm breath.]

I think I've known that for a while.

[Dirk doesn't know how long hugs are supposed to be. He and Dave used to cling for hours sometimes. Cal never protested an hours-long embrace. Kaden was too cuddly to ever inform Dirk on that. Roxy is a clinger at best. He doesn't know at all when to let go.]

Okay. Cool.

[It isn't a very helpful reply. It's just the best one he has. He can't push Hinata, just as Hinata can't push him.]

[It's a decent enough reply. While he'd like to know exactly what it is that's bothering his friend, try to figure out exactly what he can do to help... maybe something like this is enough.

He exhales quietly, keeping his arms wrapped tightly around the other boy. It's nice? And while it's easy to pretend that he's doing this solely for Dirk's benefit... he can't help the way it relaxes him, too. Maybe it's something he should try to do more often.

He inhales again, parting his lips as if to say something, maybe something suitably protagonist-like and cool-- then pauses, eyes flying open as he tries to jolt back from the hug.]

Crap, it's gonna burn-!

[The fish. Let him get back to the stove before the food is ruined.]

[Dirk immediately lets him go.]

We should consider saving emotional heart-to-hearts for moments when we aren't cooking.

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