[He glances around himself, double-checking to make sure he's not the one leaking anything semi-private . . . again.]
Are you serious with that thing? I can't believe you guys came up with that! I kinda . . . let a couple things slip to that Strider guy when I saw him mention it.
It was just supposed to be like a roster and a map...
[He trails off, and there's an audible intake of breath and a quiet noise of something striking metal, as if Hajime had tried to step back and just hit his back against the closest wall.]
[He groans, rubbing his free hand over his face. He'd been so careful not to say anything to even remotely hint to anyone he'd been through anything less than normal (with some success), but now...?]
O-of course I didn't tell anyone. I was the only one of us here, I woke up without knowing who I could trust, or-- or if that bear was anywhere around. I didn't... no one else talked about it, so I didn't want to make myself seem suspicious. You know?
Yeah, I get it. Look . . . I don't blame you! I probably wouldn't've either if it'd been me. It's not even that I wanted to go spilling that to Strider or anyone else. I-it just kinda came out when he mentioned the app!
[He sighs again, a crackling rush of static, and doesn't answer immediately. Instead he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, trying to tamp down his initial anger and fear. At least it was Dirk and not someone else, like Loki, who'd probably tell everyone just for the sake of telling everyone.]
I've... been thinking about telling Dirk, anyway. He's... probably the person I trust most, here, after you. But I don't think it's the kind of thing... we should talk about openly. Maybe I'm wrong, but...
[But being known as "the kid who came from a game where we all were forced to kill each other" just makes it seem like if that bear ever does show up, he'll be the first suspected. He and Kazuichi both.]
[He slumps back against the wall in the semi-private corner he'd backed into to have this conversation, letting out a staticky breath of his own into the communicator.]
Yeah. I get it. I agree with you! I just didn't—it didn't even occur to me to think of a cover story or nothin' before it came up. And it'll have to match yours, too. So what've you been telling people who ask about home?
[This feels . . . messed up. He really hadn't considered it at all, which he realizes now was pretty dumb. You can't just go telling people all that crazy-sounding crap! He doesn't wanna talk about it anyway! But coming up with a whole cover for it feels like picking part of the weight back up, too, right when he'd thought he might drop it.]
[Seems like they're in this for the long haul. Hajime shifts, slides down the wall to sit down, resting his head in his hand and keeping his communicator near his mouth.]
As far as they know... I'm just a normal high school student. Someone who was part of Hope's Peak's... Reserve Course.
[He's still upset about that. He isn't sure how he'll really stop being preoccupied with the Reserve Course, because... how could he have forgotten that he didn't have a talent? There's something missing, some piece of the puzzle that keeps him from letting it rest.]
People usually aren't interested in much beyond that.
[--More like most people are observant enough to figure out that talking about that stuff isn't one of Hajime's preferred topics, so they tend not to force the issue.]
But I don't know about a cover story or anything like that. All I've really said was that I was on a class trip to a Pacific island, and then I wound up here. It's... not a lie.
[There's another noisy sigh into the receiver. He's got a point. All of that is accurate . . . and that's probably all anyone needs to know, right? Kazuichi isn't good at thinking on his feet, so he'll have to hope so. Being blindsided by this was what had led to this in the first place.]
I'm totally behind not talking about it much. Sounds good to me! I just wanna forget all that ever happened! Normal high school students on a class trip . . .
[Just like he'd wanted. He blinks hard, staring down at the receiver.]
. . . That's right. You don't have to worry about me spilling any more, Hinata.
[His answer seems to surprise even himself, his lips pressing tightly together. But he doesn't think it's wrong, either, and after a moment, he nods to himself.]
I don't want to forget everyone. After everything we've been through...
It's part of the reason I showed my handbook to Dirk in the first place, before we made that mode. When it was just me here... I was always thinking about you guys, you know? Hoping you were doing okay, that I'd be able to... that we'd all be able to go back where we belong.
So... I'm not worried about that, Souda. If... if there is someone you trust enough to want to talk about this stuff with, I... don't want to stop you. I just don't think everyone needs to know.
[The words hit him like a blow. Of course it's easy to think the easiest thing: I never want to think about it again. Of course he wished he could stop thinking about it when he doesn't want to, which is most of the time. Of course he wishes it hadn't happened at all. Ninety-nine percent of it had been the worst experience of his entire life—and not just by a little. What happened on the island wasn't like coming down with some illness and being sicker than you ever thought possible, or any "worst experience" like that; it had been outside of what he'd thought a human being could take and stay sane. It had been like stepping into an entirely different reality from the one you lived in, that people weren't meant to ever see or survive in, and knowing every second of every day that you might never make it back to the reality you knew before.
That was what Hinata didn't want to forget.
And yet, when he puts it like that, Kazuichi realizes he can't disagree with him.
Was that one percent really worth the ninety-nine? Was having Hinata here to talk to worth the lives of all those people? No, but—]
Hey . . . where are you right now?
[He curls up tightly in his corner, head ducked and voice low.]
[His voice is low as he answers, eyes closed as he presses his head back against the wall. So much had happened, so much was still happening, and he still didn't know how to handle it. What to do, what to say. As much as it would be easier to pretend that nothing had happened on the island, that it truly had been a normal class trip... he can't forget them all like that. Byakuya, Teruteru, Mahiru, Peko, Hiyoko, Ibuki, Mikan, Nekomaru, Gundam, Nagito, Chiaki...
It's too many names. Too many experiences, too many bonds forged that he doesn't want to forget. Even if it's easier. Even if it's safer.]
. . . Near the lockers. I'm—gonna come find you. So don't go anywhere.
[He gets to his feet, not turning off the communicator yet in case Hinata's going to protest; Kazuichi hopes he won't. He's not sure why he suddenly feels so strongly that he'd rather be doing this in person, but he's not going to argue with his impulse, either.]
[The thought doesn't even cross his mind to protest. Instead, he just slides down the wall to sit, draping his hands over his knees and leaving his communicator open. Just in case Kazuichi gets lost, or needs to talk to him again while he's waiting.
He feels sick, thinking about everything that had happened again. Big words, to say he didn't want to forget. In all honesty, if someone gave him the chance to forget it had all happened, to send him back to Japan to live out-- whatever kind of life a Reserve Course student had, he can't say with confidence that he wouldn't consider it.
So when Kazuichi arrives, his face is drawn, brows furrowed, though he tries to give the other a smile when he spots him.]
[He hovers for a moment, but then just slides down the wall just like Hinata did to fold up next to him, knees drawn up.
Now that he's here, he's at a loss as to what to say, at first. He'd just . . . needed to come. It takes him a few long moments of silence to finally find a place to begin.]
Obviously . . . if you actually forgot about me, I'd be pissed off . . .
[He tries for that smile again, barely manages it, and calls it good enough. With his friend here, it's easier to manage that faint smile as he bumps his shoulder against the other teen's.]
I... knew what you meant, too. About... wanting to forget. Trust me, I understand.
audio
[Has to ask that first, but also--]
I'm alone right now, but anyone walking by can hear... URSULA can, too. Use telepathy if you have to.
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[No, first things first! He can't get distracted! As long as no one else is around, it's fine!]
—I've just gotta talk to you about something. It's about that "Report Card" thing, so it's private! You know what I mean.
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["Report Card thing"? He must be talking about the thing he and Dirk put together. Hajime pauses, weighs what he wants to do.]
...Alright, I'm listening. I'll cut you off if anyone starts walking this way, okay?
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[He glances around himself, double-checking to make sure he's not the one leaking anything semi-private . . . again.]
Are you serious with that thing? I can't believe you guys came up with that! I kinda . . . let a couple things slip to that Strider guy when I saw him mention it.
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[He trails off, and there's an audible intake of breath and a quiet noise of something striking metal, as if Hajime had tried to step back and just hit his back against the closest wall.]
...What did you tell him?
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Not that much! I might've mentioned a bear. I didn't expect him to not know anything about it! So you haven't told anyone anything?
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[He groans, rubbing his free hand over his face. He'd been so careful not to say anything to even remotely hint to anyone he'd been through anything less than normal (with some success), but now...?]
O-of course I didn't tell anyone. I was the only one of us here, I woke up without knowing who I could trust, or-- or if that bear was anywhere around. I didn't... no one else talked about it, so I didn't want to make myself seem suspicious. You know?
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[He heaves a sigh.]
. . . Sorry, dude.
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[He sighs again, a crackling rush of static, and doesn't answer immediately. Instead he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, trying to tamp down his initial anger and fear. At least it was Dirk and not someone else, like Loki, who'd probably tell everyone just for the sake of telling everyone.]
I've... been thinking about telling Dirk, anyway. He's... probably the person I trust most, here, after you. But I don't think it's the kind of thing... we should talk about openly. Maybe I'm wrong, but...
[But being known as "the kid who came from a game where we all were forced to kill each other" just makes it seem like if that bear ever does show up, he'll be the first suspected. He and Kazuichi both.]
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Yeah. I get it. I agree with you! I just didn't—it didn't even occur to me to think of a cover story or nothin' before it came up. And it'll have to match yours, too. So what've you been telling people who ask about home?
[This feels . . . messed up. He really hadn't considered it at all, which he realizes now was pretty dumb. You can't just go telling people all that crazy-sounding crap! He doesn't wanna talk about it anyway! But coming up with a whole cover for it feels like picking part of the weight back up, too, right when he'd thought he might drop it.]
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[Seems like they're in this for the long haul. Hajime shifts, slides down the wall to sit down, resting his head in his hand and keeping his communicator near his mouth.]
As far as they know... I'm just a normal high school student. Someone who was part of Hope's Peak's... Reserve Course.
[He's still upset about that. He isn't sure how he'll really stop being preoccupied with the Reserve Course, because... how could he have forgotten that he didn't have a talent? There's something missing, some piece of the puzzle that keeps him from letting it rest.]
People usually aren't interested in much beyond that.
[--More like most people are observant enough to figure out that talking about that stuff isn't one of Hajime's preferred topics, so they tend not to force the issue.]
But I don't know about a cover story or anything like that. All I've really said was that I was on a class trip to a Pacific island, and then I wound up here. It's... not a lie.
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I'm totally behind not talking about it much. Sounds good to me! I just wanna forget all that ever happened! Normal high school students on a class trip . . .
[Just like he'd wanted. He blinks hard, staring down at the receiver.]
. . . That's right. You don't have to worry about me spilling any more, Hinata.
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[His answer seems to surprise even himself, his lips pressing tightly together. But he doesn't think it's wrong, either, and after a moment, he nods to himself.]
I don't want to forget everyone. After everything we've been through...
It's part of the reason I showed my handbook to Dirk in the first place, before we made that mode. When it was just me here... I was always thinking about you guys, you know? Hoping you were doing okay, that I'd be able to... that we'd all be able to go back where we belong.
So... I'm not worried about that, Souda. If... if there is someone you trust enough to want to talk about this stuff with, I... don't want to stop you. I just don't think everyone needs to know.
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[The words hit him like a blow. Of course it's easy to think the easiest thing: I never want to think about it again. Of course he wished he could stop thinking about it when he doesn't want to, which is most of the time. Of course he wishes it hadn't happened at all. Ninety-nine percent of it had been the worst experience of his entire life—and not just by a little. What happened on the island wasn't like coming down with some illness and being sicker than you ever thought possible, or any "worst experience" like that; it had been outside of what he'd thought a human being could take and stay sane. It had been like stepping into an entirely different reality from the one you lived in, that people weren't meant to ever see or survive in, and knowing every second of every day that you might never make it back to the reality you knew before.
That was what Hinata didn't want to forget.
And yet, when he puts it like that, Kazuichi realizes he can't disagree with him.
Was that one percent really worth the ninety-nine? Was having Hinata here to talk to worth the lives of all those people? No, but—]
Hey . . . where are you right now?
[He curls up tightly in his corner, head ducked and voice low.]
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[His voice is low as he answers, eyes closed as he presses his head back against the wall. So much had happened, so much was still happening, and he still didn't know how to handle it. What to do, what to say. As much as it would be easier to pretend that nothing had happened on the island, that it truly had been a normal class trip... he can't forget them all like that. Byakuya, Teruteru, Mahiru, Peko, Hiyoko, Ibuki, Mikan, Nekomaru, Gundam, Nagito, Chiaki...
It's too many names. Too many experiences, too many bonds forged that he doesn't want to forget. Even if it's easier. Even if it's safer.]
Where are you...?
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[He gets to his feet, not turning off the communicator yet in case Hinata's going to protest; Kazuichi hopes he won't. He's not sure why he suddenly feels so strongly that he'd rather be doing this in person, but he's not going to argue with his impulse, either.]
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[The thought doesn't even cross his mind to protest. Instead, he just slides down the wall to sit, draping his hands over his knees and leaving his communicator open. Just in case Kazuichi gets lost, or needs to talk to him again while he's waiting.
He feels sick, thinking about everything that had happened again. Big words, to say he didn't want to forget. In all honesty, if someone gave him the chance to forget it had all happened, to send him back to Japan to live out-- whatever kind of life a Reserve Course student had, he can't say with confidence that he wouldn't consider it.
So when Kazuichi arrives, his face is drawn, brows furrowed, though he tries to give the other a smile when he spots him.]
Hey.
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[He hovers for a moment, but then just slides down the wall just like Hinata did to fold up next to him, knees drawn up.
Now that he's here, he's at a loss as to what to say, at first. He'd just . . . needed to come. It takes him a few long moments of silence to finally find a place to begin.]
Obviously . . . if you actually forgot about me, I'd be pissed off . . .
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[He tries for that smile again, barely manages it, and calls it good enough. With his friend here, it's easier to manage that faint smile as he bumps his shoulder against the other teen's.]
I... knew what you meant, too. About... wanting to forget. Trust me, I understand.
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Wouldn't anyone? But when you said what you said . . . I could feel how you felt, Hinata.