[It doesn't take long for Hajime to respond. Honestly, he's usually not up to too much in his spare time; the only pause between receiving Ren's message and actually answering it is his mild confusion that Ren's actually reaching out to him for, well, anything. He has all his friends from home, doesn't he?]
don't worry about it, we were all a little out of it. don't expect me to ask for a repeat performance, though
[As cool as Ren had looked, forcibly whisking Hajime in?? A little much for this relatively reserved boy.]
damn, and here i was hoping i'd finally find someone who'd be able to beat me, the only person who ever managed to challenge the super high school level gamer lol
[That's laughable, he never stood a chance against Chiaki. But it's funny to him, at least.]
heh. well I mean, if you need a dance/life coach apparently I have vacancies i'm willing to open up.
[ Like, life? is going super well. SUPER well. ]
I mean, I played my kinda-sister a lot and she was the undisputed gremlin champion from under the bed, but I was more than good enough to take some rounds off her.
Sounds good. Bring your A game.
[ When he gets there Hajime will have found that for some reason Ren has moved where the console is usually hooked up. Which is fine, any place that has space enough for people to sit down and go a few rounds is good enough, but despite being a few days out from the longest sleep of his life Ren Amamiya is looking, for lack of a better phrase, run the fuck over while he's warming up against the AI. ]
i'll pass on the dance lessons, thanks. i think that was enough dancing for at least the next decade or so
see you there
[Hajime, on the other hand, looks... good? As good as this boy usually looks, anyway, wearing his old school uniform and mag-boots with his hands in his pockets. His hair is getting long again, ahoge starting to wilt slightly under its own weight, but he looks rested at the very least. The corner of his lips turns up in a smile as he spots Ren and the console -- he knows it's not his, but it has enough memories associated with it that he can't help but think of it fondly -- and makes his way over without hesitation to sit beside him and take the controller for player 2.]
Hey, Amamiya. Good to see you without the background music.
[--But, he's not a stupid boy, nor is he unobservant. His smile doesn't quite fade, but the corners of his eyes narrow, as if he's taking in the other boy's appearance and marking it down as a bit of evidence for later.]
[ On its face Ren should be looking better. He's got new threads, he was able to sleep, like, at all, and he's playing video games on a school day, which is just (chef's kiss). Things should absolutely be Looking Up. They are definitely Not. ]
Hm? Yeah, 'course.
[ Why wouldn't he be? Hajime knows as well as anyone that this is heaven compared to a few days ago. Ren lets his character go neutral while he turns and distractedly sets the 2P controller aside as though baiting a hook for a fish. A nice boy grouper. Bite, will you. ]
If you cheese me with Korby I'm not gonna have any mercy on you. Come on, hop in.
['Course. Hajime drops it with an amenable shrug, but that doesn't mean he's forgotten it. Just that it'll come up later.
Once he's done kicking Ren's ass, that is. He laughs and takes the controller without hesitation.]
What, and here I thought you'd want to pick Korby, since you're so rusty. I've always liked Marco, anyway.
[There's just something about being the protag, the face of a series, that's just great. Maybe someday he'll get there (no). While the map's loading, he asks,]
[ Ren makes a mildly derisive sound and picks Lonk in short order. For some reason he's always had more of an affinity for silent protagonists because you could pretty much imagine whatever heroic archetype you wanted into them in between the broad strokes. That and throughout the series Lonk was always a Swiss army knife of a character, and that appealed to him. ]
Yeah, Futaba. She's not my sister by blood, but the Phantom Thieves're sort of our found family. And when she, like, hacked us and then she just fit. Little sister I never had - aw, damn!
[ Taking your own stock is so newbish, frick. Ren's talking on automatic - unlike him, but when you're unsure about your present you talk pretty freely about your past. ]
She's the adoptive daughter of the guy that took me in for a year, so after a while that was us. Like a family.
[Both eyebrows go up. What is it with girl hackers forcibly inserting themselves into people's lives? He's just kind of picturing Erika right now, since he has no other reference to go off.
But he kind of got the sense of found family from them; he doesn't know everybody's story, but he knows Ryuji's part of it, and Ryuji's way of describing them. It's easy to tell how close they are to each other, which is part of why Hajime's so baffled that Ren would invite him out.
...Then again, that's the kind of talk that would get Ryuji mad at him, huh. That whole someone (worthless) like me attitude that keeps him from just accepting that other people, possibly against their better judgement, want to spend time with a talentless boy like him. Because really, what does talent even mean on this station? They're all being put through hell, together.]
--Ah, crap!!
[That realization that your down-B recovery isn't enough to get you back on the platform. It's what he gets for being distracted by his own thoughts.]
...What about your family?
[Back to the topic at hand, he glances sideways while waiting to respawn, trying to catch a glimpse of Ren's expression out of the corner of his eye. If it's something Ren doesn't want to talk about, that's fine... he just can't help but be curious, what with describing the Thieves as his family, and also mentioning somebody took him in.]
Yeah, she's a braniac. No social skills or sense of when it's a good time to not savagely scalp someone but she'll get better with age. Or worse. God, it could totally get worse...
[ Rather than consider that possible future Ren is going to edge guard and make sure Marco falls to his pixellated death, thanks. He's well aware that relating personal stuff to Hinata is out of character as far as that kid knows about him, and
Well. Something about what happened with Ryuji really makes Ren want to head off another development like it when making more friends. He's a pretty confident guy, soft-spoken, keeps to himself, and a threat to that balance is what pushes him in turn to stabilize himself with more connections.
But he really doesn't need anyone else thinking he's perfect.
There Ren shrugs. ]
I'm living with them again now, if that's what you're asking. On a condition of my probation they got rid of me for a year in Tokyo.
They didn't say that it was about reputation but I kinda knew. No one wants the source of a big public shaming to be physically present in their home and town.
[ On the screen Lonk lands a particularly brutal Super Smash, bringing match one to its abrupt conclusion. Ren smirks a bit at Hinata and picks at one of his shoulders. ]
Aw gee, that rust doesn't seem to be holding me back any. Or maybe you just talk a good game.
[Sorry Marco... Hajime just laughs, though, knocking away Ren's hand so he can focus better on the match. He'll open aggressively, trying to keep Lonk back on the defensive.
Unfortunately, he's the type who always has to ask questions to carry a conversation. It's how he got in this mess with the Thieves in the first place.]
Probation for what? I didn't think-
[He presses further forward, only belatedly realizing that right, shit, the whole supernatural powers thing is a secret. He closes his mouth and throws up Marco's shield against a potential counter-attack.]
Ah, if you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to. Sorry, I don't mean to pry.
[ Aw hell naw, get outta his face with that. Ren-Lonk drops a few bombs to create space between them and switches to the bow to keep pinging and buy time for the items to spawn.
Fortunately for Hinata he's an old hat at telling this story. He can do it while caving Hinata's face in, no sweat. ]
Assault. [ Surprised? There's a reason for that. ] it wasn't til almost a year later that it was proved that it was a trumped up charge, but you can't get that time back.
Not that I'd want to. It almost ruined my life, but I met everyone because of it, too.
[Poor Marco deserves someone better at the controls as Hajime's fingers slip off the buttons entirely when he looks at Ren. Chiaki would be beyond frustrated with him, but he can't just focus on a game when there are other things on his mind. He never was that great at multitasking.]
Oi, Amamiya... you don't do anything small, do you?
[ Oh? Make that unfortunately for Hinata, Ren is S rank in multitasking during this particular story. When it gets too boring poking Marco's idling body off the edge with ankle-level sword swipes Ren sighs minutely, turning the deep dark caverns that were once his eye sockets toward Hajime. You'd half expect spiders and bats to shoot out. ]
I said it was a false charge.
[ But nah, for the last year or so thinking small hasn't gotten him anywhere. Go big and go to jail. ]
Remember Akechi's asshole dad? I stopped him from trying to shove a lady into a car. He bumped his head, bled a little, went crying to his political and judicial hookups just to try and ruin some teenagers life because his drunk ass couldn't understand the word "no".
[ There's piles and piles of stories like that. Get why they're so want of asshole adults now, Hinata? ]
[Don't give him that look; Hajime just gives him a patiently incredulous look of his own. Even if he's a renegade dancer, Hajime doesn't honestly think Ren would assault anyone if it wasn't for a good reason.]
I just wasn't expecting something like that. I was thinking more along the lines of, you know, stealing something.
[Since he's a thief. Hajime holds up both hands as if to placate him.]
Believe me, I'm the last person who's gonna judge you for something like that. If Hope's Peak cared enough about what Reserve Course students did, I'd probably be on probation, too.
[ Well? It did. Something unpleasant prickled underneath his skin at the passing thought that he hasn't quite found his center yet if a small misunderstanding like that is enough to niggle at him. He's tired of being able to be seen. Give him his mask back.
Guilt is there in a nervous neck rub, eyes cast down while he grabs at the recovery point Hajime throws him. ]
It's logical. Less so is the fact that we became Thieves to stop crime, if you can believe that.
But what's that supposed to mean? Why wouldn't your school care what you did?
Don't worry about it... sorry to make you think that.
[Hajime pats the air gently for a moment before lowering his hands. A swipe of his thumb pauses the game, because he really can't pretend to focus on it while he's talking about this. Save poor Marco further abuse.]
Knowing you guys, I can believe that much, at least. Even without what Ryuji's already told me.
[He's still looking at the paused screen, though, lips curving into a wry, resigned smile.]
I said it, didn't I? I'm just a Reserve Course student. Hope's Peak Academy is a school for talented students... Two Reserve Course students can be found dead in the same week, and they don't care. "Reserve Course students are easily replaced"... after all. They "don't have time to investigate it every time one of us dies."
[His fingers rub more anxiously against the buttons, as if seeking a more tactile sensation to ground him in the present.]
They just wanted to-- sweep the problem under the rug. So I punched the head of security in the face for that.
[ Like, hold the freaking phone here, let's not bury the lede - ]
Wait a minute - people die at your school and no one gives a shit? No investigations, nothing!?
[ Man, a piece of shit teacher suddenly confessed to physically and emotionally abusing students at Shujin and the media swarmed on the school like flies to shit. Ren's mouth gapes for a few flabbergasted moments before he manages another coherent set of words to string together. ]
What kind of place is that where straight up murder or whatever is something to get swept under a rug? Like, hell yeah, punch some assholes in the face but what the fuck Hinata.
I told you they tried to sweep it under the rug, didn't I?
[He realizes that he's gripping the controller a little too hard and just sets it down. Then he doesn't know what he should do with his hands, so he just... rests them on his knees, glancing sideways to the other boy.]
They did a cursory investigation, decided it was just some mysterious intruder who broke in and killed her. I tried to do some investigation on my own, but... the girl I thought was involved disappeared after I confronted her, and then they found her body a few days later. So... I tried to go to one of her friends, someone in the Main Course, but they wouldn't let me in. That's when that security guard told me the truth. That they didn't care about investigating what happened to us.
I guess... [And here, he pauses, looks at his hands. It's taken him a long time to even reach this conclusion, because he didn't want to acknowledge it. Not about the school he admired, the place he wanted to go more than anywhere else in the world.] It'd look bad for their reputation, if word got out that Reserve Course students were killing each other. It's a school for researching and developing talent, funded by the government. If there were a real investigation, it'd... probably turn up some stuff they probably wouldn't want in the public eye, you know?
Of the Phantom Thieves he's met Ren is certainly one with a higher percentage of tact so that sentence doesn't leave his mouth at any point, but he can't help but sit half turned and stare horrified at this kid. Who. Goes to a murder school. That is literally a school for murder.
Some of the core of him that was numbed in the fucking disastrous end to last week is some use, he guesses. Thanks to that he can shield some of his thoughts and emotional state in that numbness and still be able to move and function and think, stilted as the process is. Ren tosses the controller a short distance away and uses his arms to shift the rest of him, facing Hajime with a shadow knit in his brow. ]
What's talent got to do with anything? Like a conservatory hall, a theater school, that kind of thing? Why's that worth killing each other over?
Wouldn't parents want to know where their kids are?
[Wow murderschool isn't even in SESSION yet Ren, give it another year and a half or so.
Hajime rakes a hand through his hair, exhaling a sigh through his nose. It's not like this is a secret or anything; it's just yet another reminder that talent, the thing that matters most in his world, isn't... universal. And of all the SHSLs who could possibly have shown up on this station, he got Gundam Tanaka, who isn't exactly what he'd consider a shining example of an elite.]
Talent has everything to do with it where I come from, Amamiya. Hope's Peak Academy isn't just a school; if you graduate from there, you're set for life. You can only attend the Main Course if they scout you for having some kind of talent. That's how you become someone, a member of society people actually care about.
It's because people in the Reserve Course aren't talented that security just... didn't care what happened. The first girl who was murdered, my... [friend? It seems weird calling Natsumi a friend, when he'd barely known her. Barely gotten the chance to know her. Maybe they could have been friends.] Her family is the Kuzuryu Family. You have them where you're from, right? The biggest yakuza syndicate in Japan? I'd have thought they'd do something to investigate. Or maybe they did, since the most likely suspect was... also found dead. I guess without any other leads, security didn't see any reason to investigate further, or something.
This is bullshit, dying for something as nebulous as talent is doubly so. Set for life? Granted he can survive three years of high school without getting murdered - that is goddamn stupid -
Or. Or it's the other way around? He isn't talented so according to security, someone like him isn't worth investigating the deaths of. Are they even trying to keep KIDS alive? Shitty adults. Setting kids up to fail, setting them up to trade their lives for the chance at the good life. ]
No. No, I haven't heard of any of this, not the Kuzuryu Family, not Hope's Peak Academy. What kind of place lets that exist? What kind of people?
Hinata-kun. [ Ren leans closer, bracing a hand against the cold floor. ] A school isn't worth your life. None of that is.
[Hajime flinches back. He's almost -- almost -- used to reactions like this to Hope's Peak itself. Neither Ryuji nor Haru had ever heard of the most important thing in his life, so he wasn't expecting Ren to magically be the only one who knows. But he's not... expecting such vehemence, enough that he leans back, holding up both hands in front of his chest to try to create some distance between them.]
You don't get it. Hope's Peak is... it's...
[Maybe he's still tired, but it's hard to reconcile the school of his dreams, the people he'd admired for so long, with the same people who refused to do anything to uncover the truth behind Natsumi's murder. If he were someone talented, if he were influential, someone who was seen as a member of society, maybe he could have done something.
Maybe two normal girls wouldn't have had to die.]
Hope's Peak has been around for decades. They study and research talented people from all around the world. The people who graduate from that school, the Super High School Levels, they-- they become the leaders of society. Not just politicians, but artists, doctors, even people with talents for animals like Tanaka, [because that fucking weirdo is somehow talented, thanks Obama,] They... anyone would look up to them, back home. It's not just about being a Hope's Peak student, it's about... feeling like you fit in, in the world.
[At some point he'd lowered his defensive hands to his lap, staring down at the floor. It's a knee-jerk reaction to defend Hope's Peak, even after everything he'd seen before arriving on this station. Even knowing what they wanted to accomplish, using him...]
Kuzuryu wanted to be someone talented, so she could feel worthy to stand beside her brother. I...
[He opens his hand, looks at his palm as if imagining himself taking hold of his fate with his own hands.]
It's fine to say that people like us, normal people, should just be content to live supporting them, but... is it really so wrong to want something more than that?
[ Ren's history of righteous anger spouting up at appropriate times is well-documented with people that have known him long enough. Ryuji's is closer to the surface, a little immature, ready for the slightest hint of complete bullshit when he smells it, and Haru's is deeper, comported into a proper and elegant smackdown when she sees injustice. Ren's anger is primal - hard to provoke, everlasting and inimitable when finally drawn like first blood.
It's only by the grace of Hajime's increasingly passionate insistence on behalf of Hope's Peak that Ren can curb the worst of it, but he still sits and quietly fumes at Hajime referring to himself as normal like it's a curse while lauding a place that lets them die and stay buried. Taking your place in a society that is stocked with "talented" people like a vending machine just... just isn't worth it. Not like that.
Ren's expression closes off, leaning back to curl his hands into his lap, but the energy flowing off of him is far more thoughtful, troubled. ]
No, it's not wrong to want to belong. I mean, that's why the Phantom Thieves were started.
But we were already cast out. Society'd turned its back on us and we had to do what we could to hold on, and we found each other and operated on a common goal.
We had to work outside of the system in order to change it and make things better - for everyone.
[ Trying to do it by playing by their rules? Yeah, no thanks. The corollary of course being that Hajime shouldn't try that either, but he suspects that the lynch pin is this "talent" stuff and how seriously everyone seems to take it. The existence of Personas and the Metaverse were what made it possible.
Mindful of Hajime's dilemma Ren's elbow bumps his, a serious look waiting for him, broken once by a flickering grin at one side of his mouth. ]
You don't need to live to support others if you don't want to. Ambition's good. Find your place in the world, just maybe try to do it your way?
Don't... try to be what someone wants you to be. Am I making any sense?
He can't work outside the system. Maybe the difference is that for Ren, he has his whole group. The Phantom Thieves who were all cast out together. Hajime... had never really gotten along with the other students in his high school, even before attending the Reserve Course. And even then, it was all a bunch of rich kids who were only interested in the brand Hope's Peak could offer, piggybacking off those with talent to try to secure something for themselves, while he...
Maybe he isn't that different from them, as he wanted to believe. But he still wanted to belong, to be seen on the same level as those with talent. He wouldn't even know where to start a movement like that.
Besides, it's too late for him. Ren's words bring a strange twist of a smile to Hajime's face, like he'd tasted something just slightly bitter and was doing his best not to show it.]
Yeah. I get what you're saying. You guys... really are incredible, you know that? All of you.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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don't worry about it, we were all a little out of it. don't expect me to ask for a repeat performance, though
[As cool as Ren had looked, forcibly whisking Hajime in?? A little much for this relatively reserved boy.]
damn, and here i was hoping i'd finally find someone who'd be able to beat me, the only person who ever managed to challenge the super high school level gamer lol
[That's laughable, he never stood a chance against Chiaki. But it's funny to him, at least.]
sure, meet you there in ten?
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[ Like, life? is going super well. SUPER well. ]
I mean, I played my kinda-sister a lot and she was the undisputed gremlin champion from under the bed, but I was more than good enough to take some rounds off her.
Sounds good. Bring your A game.
[ When he gets there Hajime will have found that for some reason Ren has moved where the console is usually hooked up. Which is fine, any place that has space enough for people to sit down and go a few rounds is good enough, but despite being a few days out from the longest sleep of his life Ren Amamiya is looking, for lack of a better phrase, run the fuck over while he's warming up against the AI. ]
Yo.
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see you there
[Hajime, on the other hand, looks... good? As good as this boy usually looks, anyway, wearing his old school uniform and mag-boots with his hands in his pockets. His hair is getting long again, ahoge starting to wilt slightly under its own weight, but he looks rested at the very least. The corner of his lips turns up in a smile as he spots Ren and the console -- he knows it's not his, but it has enough memories associated with it that he can't help but think of it fondly -- and makes his way over without hesitation to sit beside him and take the controller for player 2.]
Hey, Amamiya. Good to see you without the background music.
[--But, he's not a stupid boy, nor is he unobservant. His smile doesn't quite fade, but the corners of his eyes narrow, as if he's taking in the other boy's appearance and marking it down as a bit of evidence for later.]
You alright?
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Hm? Yeah, 'course.
[ Why wouldn't he be? Hajime knows as well as anyone that this is heaven compared to a few days ago. Ren lets his character go neutral while he turns and distractedly sets the 2P controller aside as though baiting a hook for a fish. A nice boy grouper. Bite, will you. ]
If you cheese me with Korby I'm not gonna have any mercy on you. Come on, hop in.
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Once he's done kicking Ren's ass, that is. He laughs and takes the controller without hesitation.]
What, and here I thought you'd want to pick Korby, since you're so rusty. I've always liked Marco, anyway.
[There's just something about being the protag, the face of a series, that's just great. Maybe someday he'll get there (no). While the map's loading, he asks,]
You said you played with your sister?
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Yeah, Futaba. She's not my sister by blood, but the Phantom Thieves're sort of our found family. And when she, like, hacked us and then she just fit. Little sister I never had - aw, damn!
[ Taking your own stock is so newbish, frick. Ren's talking on automatic - unlike him, but when you're unsure about your present you talk pretty freely about your past. ]
She's the adoptive daughter of the guy that took me in for a year, so after a while that was us. Like a family.
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[Both eyebrows go up. What is it with girl hackers forcibly inserting themselves into people's lives? He's just kind of picturing Erika right now, since he has no other reference to go off.
But he kind of got the sense of found family from them; he doesn't know everybody's story, but he knows Ryuji's part of it, and Ryuji's way of describing them. It's easy to tell how close they are to each other, which is part of why Hajime's so baffled that Ren would invite him out.
...Then again, that's the kind of talk that would get Ryuji mad at him, huh. That whole someone (worthless) like me attitude that keeps him from just accepting that other people, possibly against their better judgement, want to spend time with a talentless boy like him. Because really, what does talent even mean on this station? They're all being put through hell, together.]
--Ah, crap!!
[That realization that your down-B recovery isn't enough to get you back on the platform. It's what he gets for being distracted by his own thoughts.]
...What about your family?
[Back to the topic at hand, he glances sideways while waiting to respawn, trying to catch a glimpse of Ren's expression out of the corner of his eye. If it's something Ren doesn't want to talk about, that's fine... he just can't help but be curious, what with describing the Thieves as his family, and also mentioning somebody took him in.]
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Yeah, she's a braniac. No social skills or sense of when it's a good time to not savagely scalp someone but she'll get better with age. Or worse. God, it could totally get worse...
[ Rather than consider that possible future Ren is going to edge guard and make sure Marco falls to his pixellated death, thanks. He's well aware that relating personal stuff to Hinata is out of character as far as that kid knows about him, and
Well. Something about what happened with Ryuji really makes Ren want to head off another development like it when making more friends. He's a pretty confident guy, soft-spoken, keeps to himself, and a threat to that balance is what pushes him in turn to stabilize himself with more connections.
But he really doesn't need anyone else thinking he's perfect.
There Ren shrugs. ]
I'm living with them again now, if that's what you're asking. On a condition of my probation they got rid of me for a year in Tokyo.
They didn't say that it was about reputation but I kinda knew. No one wants the source of a big public shaming to be physically present in their home and town.
[ On the screen Lonk lands a particularly brutal Super Smash, bringing match one to its abrupt conclusion. Ren smirks a bit at Hinata and picks at one of his shoulders. ]
Aw gee, that rust doesn't seem to be holding me back any. Or maybe you just talk a good game.
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[Sorry Marco... Hajime just laughs, though, knocking away Ren's hand so he can focus better on the match. He'll open aggressively, trying to keep Lonk back on the defensive.
Unfortunately, he's the type who always has to ask questions to carry a conversation. It's how he got in this mess with the Thieves in the first place.]
Probation for what? I didn't think-
[He presses further forward, only belatedly realizing that right, shit, the whole supernatural powers thing is a secret. He closes his mouth and throws up Marco's shield against a potential counter-attack.]
Ah, if you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to. Sorry, I don't mean to pry.
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Fortunately for Hinata he's an old hat at telling this story. He can do it while caving Hinata's face in, no sweat. ]
Assault. [ Surprised? There's a reason for that. ] it wasn't til almost a year later that it was proved that it was a trumped up charge, but you can't get that time back.
Not that I'd want to. It almost ruined my life, but I met everyone because of it, too.
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[Poor Marco deserves someone better at the controls as Hajime's fingers slip off the buttons entirely when he looks at Ren. Chiaki would be beyond frustrated with him, but he can't just focus on a game when there are other things on his mind. He never was that great at multitasking.]
Oi, Amamiya... you don't do anything small, do you?
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I said it was a false charge.
[ But nah, for the last year or so thinking small hasn't gotten him anywhere. Go big and go to jail. ]
Remember Akechi's asshole dad? I stopped him from trying to shove a lady into a car. He bumped his head, bled a little, went crying to his political and judicial hookups just to try and ruin some teenagers life because his drunk ass couldn't understand the word "no".
[ There's piles and piles of stories like that. Get why they're so want of asshole adults now, Hinata? ]
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[Don't give him that look; Hajime just gives him a patiently incredulous look of his own. Even if he's a renegade dancer, Hajime doesn't honestly think Ren would assault anyone if it wasn't for a good reason.]
I just wasn't expecting something like that. I was thinking more along the lines of, you know, stealing something.
[Since he's a thief. Hajime holds up both hands as if to placate him.]
Believe me, I'm the last person who's gonna judge you for something like that. If Hope's Peak cared enough about what Reserve Course students did, I'd probably be on probation, too.
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[ Well? It did. Something unpleasant prickled underneath his skin at the passing thought that he hasn't quite found his center yet if a small misunderstanding like that is enough to niggle at him. He's tired of being able to be seen. Give him his mask back.
Guilt is there in a nervous neck rub, eyes cast down while he grabs at the recovery point Hajime throws him. ]
It's logical. Less so is the fact that we became Thieves to stop crime, if you can believe that.
But what's that supposed to mean? Why wouldn't your school care what you did?
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[Hajime pats the air gently for a moment before lowering his hands. A swipe of his thumb pauses the game, because he really can't pretend to focus on it while he's talking about this. Save poor Marco further abuse.]
Knowing you guys, I can believe that much, at least. Even without what Ryuji's already told me.
[He's still looking at the paused screen, though, lips curving into a wry, resigned smile.]
I said it, didn't I? I'm just a Reserve Course student. Hope's Peak Academy is a school for talented students... Two Reserve Course students can be found dead in the same week, and they don't care. "Reserve Course students are easily replaced"... after all. They "don't have time to investigate it every time one of us dies."
[His fingers rub more anxiously against the buttons, as if seeking a more tactile sensation to ground him in the present.]
They just wanted to-- sweep the problem under the rug. So I punched the head of security in the face for that.
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Wait a minute - people die at your school and no one gives a shit? No investigations, nothing!?
[ Man, a piece of shit teacher suddenly confessed to physically and emotionally abusing students at Shujin and the media swarmed on the school like flies to shit. Ren's mouth gapes for a few flabbergasted moments before he manages another coherent set of words to string together. ]
What kind of place is that where straight up murder or whatever is something to get swept under a rug? Like, hell yeah, punch some assholes in the face but what the fuck Hinata.
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[He realizes that he's gripping the controller a little too hard and just sets it down. Then he doesn't know what he should do with his hands, so he just... rests them on his knees, glancing sideways to the other boy.]
They did a cursory investigation, decided it was just some mysterious intruder who broke in and killed her. I tried to do some investigation on my own, but... the girl I thought was involved disappeared after I confronted her, and then they found her body a few days later. So... I tried to go to one of her friends, someone in the Main Course, but they wouldn't let me in. That's when that security guard told me the truth. That they didn't care about investigating what happened to us.
I guess... [And here, he pauses, looks at his hands. It's taken him a long time to even reach this conclusion, because he didn't want to acknowledge it. Not about the school he admired, the place he wanted to go more than anywhere else in the world.] It'd look bad for their reputation, if word got out that Reserve Course students were killing each other. It's a school for researching and developing talent, funded by the government. If there were a real investigation, it'd... probably turn up some stuff they probably wouldn't want in the public eye, you know?
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Of the Phantom Thieves he's met Ren is certainly one with a higher percentage of tact so that sentence doesn't leave his mouth at any point, but he can't help but sit half turned and stare horrified at this kid. Who. Goes to a murder school. That is literally a school for murder.
Some of the core of him that was numbed in the fucking disastrous end to last week is some use, he guesses. Thanks to that he can shield some of his thoughts and emotional state in that numbness and still be able to move and function and think, stilted as the process is. Ren tosses the controller a short distance away and uses his arms to shift the rest of him, facing Hajime with a shadow knit in his brow. ]
What's talent got to do with anything? Like a conservatory hall, a theater school, that kind of thing? Why's that worth killing each other over?
Wouldn't parents want to know where their kids are?
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Hajime rakes a hand through his hair, exhaling a sigh through his nose. It's not like this is a secret or anything; it's just yet another reminder that talent, the thing that matters most in his world, isn't... universal. And of all the SHSLs who could possibly have shown up on this station, he got Gundam Tanaka, who isn't exactly what he'd consider a shining example of an elite.]
Talent has everything to do with it where I come from, Amamiya. Hope's Peak Academy isn't just a school; if you graduate from there, you're set for life. You can only attend the Main Course if they scout you for having some kind of talent. That's how you become someone, a member of society people actually care about.
It's because people in the Reserve Course aren't talented that security just... didn't care what happened. The first girl who was murdered, my... [friend? It seems weird calling Natsumi a friend, when he'd barely known her. Barely gotten the chance to know her. Maybe they could have been friends.] Her family is the Kuzuryu Family. You have them where you're from, right? The biggest yakuza syndicate in Japan? I'd have thought they'd do something to investigate. Or maybe they did, since the most likely suspect was... also found dead. I guess without any other leads, security didn't see any reason to investigate further, or something.
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This is bullshit, dying for something as nebulous as talent is doubly so. Set for life? Granted he can survive three years of high school without getting murdered - that is goddamn stupid -
Or. Or it's the other way around? He isn't talented so according to security, someone like him isn't worth investigating the deaths of. Are they even trying to keep KIDS alive? Shitty adults. Setting kids up to fail, setting them up to trade their lives for the chance at the good life. ]
No. No, I haven't heard of any of this, not the Kuzuryu Family, not Hope's Peak Academy. What kind of place lets that exist? What kind of people?
Hinata-kun. [ Ren leans closer, bracing a hand against the cold floor. ] A school isn't worth your life. None of that is.
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You don't get it. Hope's Peak is... it's...
[Maybe he's still tired, but it's hard to reconcile the school of his dreams, the people he'd admired for so long, with the same people who refused to do anything to uncover the truth behind Natsumi's murder. If he were someone talented, if he were influential, someone who was seen as a member of society, maybe he could have done something.
Maybe two normal girls wouldn't have had to die.]
Hope's Peak has been around for decades. They study and research talented people from all around the world. The people who graduate from that school, the Super High School Levels, they-- they become the leaders of society. Not just politicians, but artists, doctors, even people with talents for animals like Tanaka, [because that fucking weirdo is somehow talented, thanks Obama,] They... anyone would look up to them, back home. It's not just about being a Hope's Peak student, it's about... feeling like you fit in, in the world.
[At some point he'd lowered his defensive hands to his lap, staring down at the floor. It's a knee-jerk reaction to defend Hope's Peak, even after everything he'd seen before arriving on this station. Even knowing what they wanted to accomplish, using him...]
Kuzuryu wanted to be someone talented, so she could feel worthy to stand beside her brother. I...
[He opens his hand, looks at his palm as if imagining himself taking hold of his fate with his own hands.]
It's fine to say that people like us, normal people, should just be content to live supporting them, but... is it really so wrong to want something more than that?
SORRY I TOOK SO LONG, I SUCK
It's only by the grace of Hajime's increasingly passionate insistence on behalf of Hope's Peak that Ren can curb the worst of it, but he still sits and quietly fumes at Hajime referring to himself as normal like it's a curse while lauding a place that lets them die and stay buried. Taking your place in a society that is stocked with "talented" people like a vending machine just... just isn't worth it. Not like that.
Ren's expression closes off, leaning back to curl his hands into his lap, but the energy flowing off of him is far more thoughtful, troubled. ]
No, it's not wrong to want to belong. I mean, that's why the Phantom Thieves were started.
But we were already cast out. Society'd turned its back on us and we had to do what we could to hold on, and we found each other and operated on a common goal.
We had to work outside of the system in order to change it and make things better - for everyone.
[ Trying to do it by playing by their rules? Yeah, no thanks. The corollary of course being that Hajime shouldn't try that either, but he suspects that the lynch pin is this "talent" stuff and how seriously everyone seems to take it. The existence of Personas and the Metaverse were what made it possible.
Mindful of Hajime's dilemma Ren's elbow bumps his, a serious look waiting for him, broken once by a flickering grin at one side of his mouth. ]
You don't need to live to support others if you don't want to. Ambition's good. Find your place in the world, just maybe try to do it your way?
Don't... try to be what someone wants you to be. Am I making any sense?
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He can't work outside the system. Maybe the difference is that for Ren, he has his whole group. The Phantom Thieves who were all cast out together. Hajime... had never really gotten along with the other students in his high school, even before attending the Reserve Course. And even then, it was all a bunch of rich kids who were only interested in the brand Hope's Peak could offer, piggybacking off those with talent to try to secure something for themselves, while he...
Maybe he isn't that different from them, as he wanted to believe. But he still wanted to belong, to be seen on the same level as those with talent. He wouldn't even know where to start a movement like that.
Besides, it's too late for him. Ren's words bring a strange twist of a smile to Hajime's face, like he'd tasted something just slightly bitter and was doing his best not to show it.]
Yeah. I get what you're saying. You guys... really are incredible, you know that? All of you.